Ever think,
“Gee, what am I doing in my life? What do I have to look forward to?”
 |
What I Look Like
Right Now |
Well, I have. Many times these past few weeks… mostly
because I've found that the only thing that I've truly been looking forward to
each day is my walk every evening. Some would say that makes perfect sense.
“You’re outside; in the wind and the elements,” they would
say, “What’s not to look forward to? Plus you’re getting exercise while you’re
at it!”
Wanna know what I think about that? Well, I think its crap! I
mean, I have a loving family, my cats, and a nice home to live for and look
forward to seeing, but do I? No; in fact, at this point, I feel completely apathetic
about all those things – or as close to apathetic as I can get without actually
being that way. Perhaps I’m just tired… hopefully I’m just tired. Sleepy tired,
not the “tired of life” tired.
I put on a “show” for my family each day. Smile when
expected, talk when wanted to, but truly, I feel as though everything has gone “blah.”
I don’t want my family to worry, but they do
need to know how I’m feeling, which is why I’m doing this blog entry… I’m even
going to print it up so that whoever wants to read it can.
Anyway, recently I've taken to walking, as I’d said before,
but not simply walking. I've
unfortunately taken to walking until my chest hurts, and even then I don’t want
to stop. Walking provides me a release from all the problems I have locked up
inside of me, the ones that not even I can reach. I put my headphones in, turn
on my music, and start walking. It calms me, wakes me up, and allows me time to
relax away from all of life’s “items,” or rather problems as I really should say.
Also, at the beginning of my summer break, I started my book
and planned to work on it during the summer, but… well, I’m in a bind. I can’t
think of anything, or rather, I can’t put anything down on paper. Maybe that is
why I’m so tired… I’m exhausted from fighting myself!
Well, that’s all I have to write about…
Hasta-la-pasta! ^J^
